democracy, this.

A few housekeeping matters before we go on to our (temporary) regime change:

– I’m tired, so I shall catch up on answering comments tomorrow.  I have things! to! say!  Get your reading pants on.

– I have finally figured out that I need an FBA.  The eight inch difference between my high bust and mid-bust circumference were not enough of a hint, apparently.  This explains the whole “swimming in dresses above the apex” thing.  I do not know how to do an FBA, and my high bust measurement puts me in a different Big 4 pattern range, so shit’s about to get interesting.  Swearing makes it feel less daunting.

– The lovely Miss Parayim has nominated me for a Liebster.  Is there anything I love more than winning?  I shall totally do the whole trot out shebang once I figure out what questions to pose besides “How do you reckon I’d look with bangs?” or “Do you know of a great sheer lip color with hypochondriac-level SPF?”  Apparently, these are selfish questions.  Whatever.

Now, on to the main event.  I’d like to think that I run an exceedingly benevolent dictatorship here at Seam Ripped Central.  Bread and circuses, death of agency, yada yada yada, let’s see how we’d do with an election.  Not a proper one, mind; I’m not the poll-posting sort of jefa.  Next week is our blogiversary.  (It’s paper!)  Instead of making it rain like a rookie rapper in an Atlanta strip club, I’ve decided to perhaps host a giveaway.

Here’s my idea: you enter the giveaway, win it like the badass you are, and I’ll buy and send you a surprise.  I’ll sniff around your blog, exchange a few emails with you (especially if you’re the blogless type), and send you something special in the post.  Is this a horrible idea?  Will one of you sue me over my loosey goosey standards?  (I’m a student.  The most you’d get is my calculator collection and one of my cats.)  I have decent taste, I ship anywhere in the world, and there’s only a thirty percent chance that what I’ll send you is illegal in your country.  Dreadful idea?  Would you prefer it if I picked out one crazycakes thing?  In the immortal words of Diddy, vote or die.  (Or just get seriously emotionally maimed.  Same difference.)

33 thoughts on “democracy, this.”

  1. It took me a while to discover that I needed an FBA too–I think it’s one of those things that’s easy to be in denial about. 🙂 And I totally love the idea of the crazy giveaway, sound like fun!

    1. I have had such long discussions about my bustline, with my bustline, and we never came to the FBA conclusion. I also have abnormally small shoulders and thought I had a dowager’s hump! Oh, fitting. I really just need Kenneth King to come hang out with me.

      Giveaway next week. Get excited!

    1. No worries! You only get a cat if you sue me for my ridiculously loosey goosey standards. I shall announce the giveaway next Monday and put a proper timeline on it, etc. Like a decent person.

  2. As for the FBA- I knew I needed one, but I would look at tutorials about how to do it, and think “No!!!! Surely if I just use a size 8 at the shoulders, 12 at the widest part of the bust, and 10 at the waist, everything will be just fine! There must be an easier way!” Turns out, no.

    1. I used to read blogs where people mentioned needing FBAs and I couldn’t help but think, “Lucky me, suckers!” Sigh. I don’t have a huge bust-waist differential, so I thought I could skate by. Alas. I have pattern-slashing in my future.

  3. That sounds like the most wonderful giveaway ever! And I just realized I forgot to reply to your reply to my comment on the last post. Woops! Off to do that now!

  4. Ooooh, this is a tremendously intriguing idea! Count me in, Chuckles!!!! Kitty would like to request that you don’t send an actual cat, as he does enjoy being the only cat child. Other than that, we’re pretty open to anything. 🙂 Happy Blogiversary, my friend!!

    P.S. (Have you checked out the Pattern Pyramid on my blog? There are some pretty terrific patterns, so feel free to drop by and enter if you are interested).

    1. Basil and Clive are intimidated by your Kitty (and rightfully so). I doubt they’d want to make the trip up to Canada. Besides, neither one of them can appreciate the land of Tim Horton and poutine quite like their mum.

      Look out for the giveaway next week!

      Also, pattern pyramids confuse me. Because I am a dolt. Kitty should explain it to me in cat language—in which I am fluent. English on the other hand. . .

      1. Meow, mew, meh, mweh, meow, meow, mrrrrouowwww, mew, mew, mew mewwwww, meow mror, meyeh, meow. Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

      1. Hello! weird comment alert.

        First off: I’m not totally sure how serious you were about entering my name into the giveaway, but … could you please not enter it? It’s just I really don’t sign up for any type of giveaways, ever–I don’t even do those scratch-for-free-and-save-50% deals that salespeople kindly foist on customers at the checkout desk–so I’d appreciate it a lot if you made sure my name wasn’t included. Thank you!

        Second: …I like your blog. (A sideways response to your “one ring” post) Your writing is great (*lit major*, cough) and I’ve been a regular reader almost from the first post I read, I think. I’m not trying to dismiss your worrying about it, ofc, but I just think that a lot of the time your blog begins discussions that are, well, cool discussions to discuss. Or it continues them. And then it continues them again in the comments section, and it’s nice that it does that. (Notice how I keep saying “your blog” instead of “you”. I hit my daily limit of heartfelt at “I like your blog”.) That is all.

      2. Meraj, I was totally joking about entering you whether you like it or not. This is *not* the Hunger Games. . .yet. Though, if I were ever in Toronto I would try my hardest to hector you into having coffee with me. It’s only fair.

        Aw, you’re so lovely. Very many thanks. I’m in a theology class where I’m—get this—writing a paper on Miller’s “The Colossus of Maroussi.” Right now. I think I’m an accidental lit major.

      3. Okay, to negate the weirdness of that weird comment (should I have emailed instead? I think so) — things that are good to read and that I have read recently: Michael Crummey’s /Galore/, a fable-ish novel about a small community in Newfoundland, which takes over the course of ~200 years. (And anything else by him. He’s really very good.) What about you?

      4. I’m re-reading a Cleopatra biography (Stacy Schiff’s) at the behest of a friend, and slogging (slogging!) through “The Brothers Karamazov,” in between doing my real school work. Sigh.

        Also, I should mention that I very rarely enter giveaways, either. I’m kind of pessimistic, and I occasionally find them pointless. If I hadn’t thought of the weird “I’m actually present-shopping for a friend” premise, I would have just had a mopey, I’m-getting-old post. See: lines and wrinkles. Moral of the story: No worries.

      5. What! why do you reply so quickly? Here I was worrying about my comment and … okay, fine. It’s good that you reply quickly and totally my choice to fret about things that don’t need to be fretted about ugh.

        If we are ever in the same city coffee will happen! And you’re writing on Henry Miller? I think that makes the lit major almost official.

      6. Comfort, Meraj. Comfort. I also make fretty, hand-wringy comments, and quick replies are the cat’s pajamas.

        “Self-Aggregation and Realization in Miller’s Colossus” Yup. I am one with the lit majors.

      7. “What! why do you reply so quickly?” should be appended to all my conversations with everyone everywhere. Calming down now.

        Ooh, nice reading list. I’ve been told that Dostoyevsky is like a Russian, overtly political Jane Austen (this was about The Idiot) but I haven’t read his novels. Slogging, hm.

  5. Fabulous Boob Area shall be yours when you get comfortable with the adjustment. It gets easier for me each time I do it, although I still often struggle with basics like sewing a straight line. Maybe I’m not the best cheerleader…

    1. I was going to say, “Fabulous boob area is already mine, hence the adjustment,” then I realized what you meant. I am bright. Anything has to be better than losing so much great fabric to poorly fitting dresses, I say.

      Nice to see you ’round these parts, by the way! I just realized that I’ve yet to comment on your Minoru post (my browser tabs are where good posts go to die, I swear).

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